My heartbeat picks up as the sun goes to bed. I can faintly hear the darkness calling for us. If I sit still enough I can feel it's cool comforting touch. My heartbeat picks up because I know the battle begins again. The battle we promised to fight. The battle that can't be lost without… Continue reading Sunset

2021, DID, dissociation, dissociative identity disorder, Processing

Wandering in Darkness

Tonight at our Celebrate Recovery meeting the speaker read a devotional in which the author was discussing being stuck in the dark void. The dark void, a place we've been wandering in for months now. In the piece the author mentioned people coming into the void to be with him/her. In that moment I thought… Continue reading Wandering in Darkness

2018, DID, dissociative identity disorder, Maddie

Proud, Finally.

It's been a long time since we, any of us, could say that there was any reason to keep going in life. Just as short as three years ago we knew we were only alive to keep the kids safe. We had no purpose at all, and no reason to exist beyond the kids. While… Continue reading Proud, Finally.

2018, DID, dissociative identity disorder, Rachel

Dancing with Chaos

"Tales Of Brilliant Chaos December 21, 2017 ·  It snowed a little. The snow brings back body memories and feelings just below the surface. Memories no one can quite see or know, yet we can feel them and taste them. The bingers want to eat them away. The purgers want to purge them out. The restricters… Continue reading Dancing with Chaos