When Bitterness Eats at You…

Ephesians 4:31

Over the last 9 months our family has gone through some very trying times. During these times, the adult bodies in the situation have all made terrible choices with incredibly hurtful consequences for all of the people involved, but especially for the children involved. We’ve finally, as of incredibly recently, entered into a calmer phase where we are trying to catch our breath and make amends for the harm we have done. There’s not on person involved that isn’t doing their best to make amends and move forward.

Left Over Anger

As we all know, that doesn’t mean things are fine. It doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot of left over hurt and bitterness running through all of our heads and hearts. At this point what it means is that we are all actively engaged in not causing any more harm. Processing is still happening. Therapy is happening. Conversations are happening. Basically, a lot of words are happening. Words don’t heal deep wounds. Words absolutely help, but without action they won’t heal.

Physical Manifestations

One thing I’ve noticed, with this body at least, is that while we frequently deny we feel anger ,(denial, yes, we need to work on that), we are definitely holding on to a lot of anger. It’s not manifesting in overt displays of anger. Instead, it’s coming through as physical symptoms to the body. We don’t eat anything at all without feeling large amounts of pain and nausea. We are waking up exhausted and having dreams in which violent things are happening to us, or threatening to happen to us.


In Ephesians 4:31, we are told to let go of all the bitterness, rage, anger, and negativity. This isn’t because we’re supposed to be kind and sweet all the time. I really believe this is because we suffer badly when holding on to these things. We suffer in spirit yes, but we also suffer physically. Our bodies hold on to things even when we aren’t expressing them. Why would our loving Father want us to stay stuck and sick?

Spoiler alert, He wouldn’t and He doesn’t. He wants us to let go and He knows it won’t be easy. He’s not asking us to do this alone. He’s asking us to be in community with others who will support us and speak truth to us.

Community who will remind us to let go.

Community who will call us on our denial.

Community who will come alongside us and keep us focused.

Today I challenge you to find your community. And I’m taking applications to grow our community.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s