My heartbeat picks up as the sun goes to bed. I can faintly hear the darkness calling for us. If I sit still enough I can feel it’s cool comforting touch.

My heartbeat picks up because I know the battle begins again. The battle we promised to fight. The battle that can’t be lost without dire consequences to those who love us. No matter how familiar the darkness feels, how much comfort it promises, how much it promises peace, I know it lies.

Our comfort and peace lies with Jesus. Our security and safety is found in Jesus’ protective embrace. And yet the darkness taunts us.

We are in therapy. We are doing the work, or are we? We are loving our growing bond with our children. We are seeing the fruit of our work but we know there’s more to do. It’s all so overwhelming and hard and the darkness promises rest.

We have been relatively stable for about a month now, and yet the shadows are restless and want to dance again. Spinning, whirling, in a frenzy of activity, promising a cool and comforting embrace.

But it wasn’t comfortable last time. It was scary. It hurt. It teared at our skin, ripped out our hair, ate away at our heart. Lord, please let us remember the pain so we don’t succumb to the temptation of the shadows.

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