2018, Alayna, DID, dissociation, dissociative identity disorder


woman stands on mountain over field under cloudy sky at sunrise
Photo by Victor Freitas on Pexels.com

Last night we had the privilege of meeting someone who had DID and has fully integrated into one personality. I say privilege because these meetings often do not go well. The rare few other times this has happened we were treated to a disdainful attitude because we choose not to pursue that path. In this case, we were welcome with a smile into a beautiful conversation about how everyone has to do what is right for them and their system, and how God has different paths for everyone.

She explained that she did nothing to make the others in her system go away. She feels that God did that so they/she could better follow the path He set for her. She feels that if we were intended to merge it would just happen – and that all of us wholeheartedly agree with. Obviously, since that hasn’t happened, our purpose requires that we stay as a team, a sisterhood, a system.

That conversation happened after a Celebrate Recovery meeting where we accepted a 60 day chip for our focus being more on God and less on how to make others love us. That’s a big deal. That same meeting, we chose the word acceptance as our positive focus word.  We are accepted there. I long for the day that mental health and people who are less than perfect, people who struggle, people who are less than politically correct or don’t exactly fit into polite society will finally be welcome in the church with kindness and understanding. Jesus never intended for churches to be just the polite society people. I know, we’ve been reading the bible. Jesus loved and reached out to those of us who will never be polite society material.

Acceptance. We need to focus on accepting each other and ourselves just as we are. We also will focus on accepting ourselves and people around us as they are right now, and not where we all “should” be. Acceping that our path is correct. We have made the right choice to pursue our blogging and writing about our paths. We have made the right choice not to go into life trying to be something we are not. Accepting that we need to reach out more and isolate less. Accepting that no one can more forward without change – and we definitely need to move forward and continue progress. Accepting that what happens in our inside world is meant to happen. It’s a catalyst for system growth. Accepting that being open about what we are experiencing inside will not lose us the right kind of support.

Fear, failure, rejection — these things all happen, to everyone. We can’t tell people to fight those feelings if we aren’t willing to also. We will all be rejected at times. We will all fail at things. We will all experience fear. And we will all survive from these things and we will grow, if we allow that to happen.


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