2018, DID, dissociative identity disorder, Paisley, shadows

How to Shadow Dance


There’s absolutely not convincing the Shadows to compromise or cooperate with the rest of us. Inside is, at times, a war zone. Us versus them. Their world or our world. Only one group can win. Only one can survive.

Why does it have to be like that? I know there have been posts before about the Shadows. I know there have been posts about dancing with the Shadows.  We’ve done everything in our power to try to win against them. And then we stopped fighting.

The Shadows are hurtful and harmful. They would kill us, I really believe that. Our former therapist doesn’t believe that. She says if they would, we’d be dead by now. She has a point there. It just often feels like they want us dead.

They work so hard to make things so difficult for us. The newest tactic is thought interruption. We will be thinking about something and the thought will vanish. The inside keeps going all black. Kat and Gina were trying hard to block their shenanigans. Today we all, well those of us who are blocked front, decided to stop blocking and stop fighting. We’re now just working around it all. Everything.

It’s making Erica’s introduction to all of us rather… eventful. Picture a house with the electricity flashing on and off and furniture moving all the time. Like a house with a serious haunting problem. It’s sort of like that. Impossible to focus and hard to think. Yet if you remember it’s not going to hurt you unless you let it, you find it’s almost entertaining.

How to dance with the Shadows:

  1. Let them know you value them. They have a job too. That job is NOT to destroy you, no matter how much it may feel like it at times.
  2. Remember that you have, in fact, lived this long. You all are strong and resourceful.
  3. Try to include them in your decision-making processes. If they don’t want to, that’s fine but at least you offered.
  4. Don’t react to their antics. Remember that you’re all able to function no matter what the inside looks like or doesn’t look like and that you can make it through your day no matter who is stuck out front. You’ve all done it before, even if you don’t believe it.
  5. Believe in all of you. Faith goes a long way.
  6. Talk to your support people. Be open.


We all know the Dark Ones, the Shadows, the Jerks, persecutors, and the over-reactive protectors are hard to deal with and even harder to talk about. This is where it starts to delve into the whole “If I talk about this people will think I’m even MORE crazy!” place. Okay, so, let them. Talk about it. Be real about it. People can’t learn if we’re not willing to be honest. Of course, always be honest safely.

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