There are no words to describe the confusion we often cause ourselves. The need for friends, for a community, for our tribe is strong. The need for quiet, alone time, and to hide from the world is almost equally as strong. The struggle is real.
It’s the same battle we have been fighting for years. Only now we can actually find friends and a community in person. There’s no human being holding us back aside from ourselves. There’s no husband making us feel guilty or forbidding it. So why aren’t we working harder at it?
It’s partially because of that balance thing. Not wanting to obsess over it and go overboard with it. It’s also partially because we aren’t sure where to look. We want equality in our relationships. We want relationships where we don’t do all of the giving, or just as important, all of the taking. We want people as invested in us as we will be in them. And then we actually have to be invested. Commit.
Commitment is scary. We have committed to CR and have been talking to people there. We still need to find accountability partners. We need to be all in when it comes to committing and we haven’t quite jumped that far in yet. I think we’re sort of wading in haha.
Scattered thoughts and a headache and a sore foot and I’m cold.