2016, DID, dissociative identity disorder, Mia, shadows, Uncategorized

Running With the Shadows

shadows
Image Credit: Facebook

Charlotte is about 9 years old. She made her presence known on Circus Day. She came in with confidence, knowledge, and almost an arrogance. She prefers to be known as Charli (No “e”. That looks too much like a boy’s name and she doesn’t want to be a boy). She immediately made her presence known both to those of us inside and to Mama, outside. She started sharing the information about each of us and the jobs we do inside. After a few hours she said she’d rather go back to where she came from and not stay close to the front. A day later Sunshine followed her. And that’s about when the Shadows reacted.

It’s been over a full month since we started this post. It’s been sitting in drafts since 5/31/16 waiting for the story to resolve itself. Now, a little over a month later, we have many new reveals and a story which we barely understand. Shadows now oversee every move we make, all in their misguided attempts to keep Sunshine safe. It’s almost like we are several systems trying to form one cohesive system, only the systems aren’t operating on the same page or under the same guidelines. The Shadows don’t allow for us to step out of line, or what they see as “the line”. We often lose control of the fingers and have constant tapping, fidgeting, grasping, and random movements. A few times a day we lose control of the eyes, as the Shadows scope out what’s going on around us. We lose train of thought and forget information we are trying to share or pass on to each other, courtesy of the Shadows.

I don’t know where this is going to lead us all, or what the outcome of this is going to be, if there’s ever any resolution to any of this. We have no idea if this is our new normal, or if things will eventually settle down. We do know that we have been through the ringer this past month and we know there’s no end in sight.

Hopefully we can convince the Shadows to start dancing with us and stop running.

Mia

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