We are Emma, also known as Brilliant Chaos. We have been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder for over 15 years. We are sharing our life… and bringing awareness to life with DID. We want to share how it affects us, the children we gave birth to, and the family who adopted us and is caring for us. All of this was caused by the abuse we were subjected to as a tiny child.
Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) –
“Dissociative identity disorder. Formerly known as multiple personality disorder, this disorder is characterized by alternating between multiple identities. A person may feel like one or more voices are trying to take control in their head. Often these identities may have unique names, characteristics, mannerisms and voices. People with DID will experience gaps in memory of every day events, personal information and trauma. Onset for the full disorder at can happen at any age, but it is more likely to occur in people who have experienced severe, ongoing trauma before the age of 5. Women are more likely to be diagnosed, as they more frequently present with acute dissociative symptoms. Men are more likely to deny symptoms and trauma histories, and commonly exhibit more violent behavior, rather than amnesia or fugue states. This can lead to elevated false negative diagnosis.” – See more at: https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-Conditions/Dissociative-Disorders#sthash.YQRe4tEm.dpuf
As the above probably gives away, we experienced ongoing abuse starting at a very young age and continuing into the middle teenage years. Until this body was around 20 years old there was very little co-consciousness. That has since changed. We are now mostly aware of each other and what goes on regardless of who is fronting but we do still lose time and experience what we call system glitches. Because we do still lose time, and most of us struggle with anxiety, eating disorders, self harm, insomnia, and poor decision making, we live with caregivers who we call Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad are raising the children our body has given birth to and we are enjoying being close to the kids without having to make the decisions that we don’t understand.
Not all of us have done introduction posts but the plan is for everyone to do one eventually. The introduction posts will be linked here as they are completed.
Who are We?